You Let Her Go
by PresleyRox
Summary: Gerald never understood the appeal of Helga until age 19. He should have felt bad for sleeping with his ex's best friend/best friend's ex-girlfriend, but he didn't. He always knew he'd never be her happy ending, but that didn't mean it didn't hurt. T for sexual situations, but nothing too explicit. One shot


Gerald never understood the appeal of Helga until age 19. He should have felt bad for sleeping with his ex's best friend/best friend's ex-girlfriend, but he didn't. He knew he'd never be her happy ending, but that didn't mean it didn't hurt. T for sexual situations, but nothing too explicit.

**You Let Her Go**

Gerald Johanssen never understood the appeal of Helga Pataki. He most certainly didn't understand why his ex-girlfriend had been best friends with the woman since they had been three and he really didn't get how his own best friend had dated the ice queen for three whole years. Helga was mean, suborn, arrogant, annoying, and a bitchy pain in the ass. Yet the two nicest people he had ever met, Phoebe Heyerdahl and Arnold Shortman, had loved her. Obviously in different ways, but they both loved her.

Gerald wasn't sure exactly how he and Helga ended up at the same college. He had been pissed when he found out, especially since Phoebe would be going to Harvard and Arnold was going to join his parents in San Lorenzo for a humanitarian mission. It had been a mutual decision for Phoebe and Gerald to break up. They had dated all through high school, but neither of them thought they could make a long distance relationship work. The pair decided if after college they were both single and ended up in the same town again they would give it another try. For the time being they would remain friends.

Arnold and Helga's relationship had ended a bit differently. Originally, Arnold had been planning on attending college at Washington State University with Helga and Gerald. After his grandma died just a week after they started senior year and his grandpa died only two days after graduation Stella and Miles decided to return to San Lorenzo. Arnold decided to join them. Helga had been furious. While Arnold wanted to make it work, try a long distance relationship for a few years, Helga refused and broke up with him. Arnold had been devastated, but went on with his decision to move to San Lorenzo. Secretly, despite Arnold being miserable, Gerald had been happy that they were finally broken up. He could care less about Helga's misery.

The first time Gerald slept with Helga they blamed it on the alcohol. They had both ended up at some random frat party, drinking way too much, and the night concluded with the two naked in an empty bedroom. Helga had been furious, screaming and hitting him when she woke up, blaming him on the whole thing. Gerald had been surprised that she hadn't woken up the whole house.

They were drunk the second time they had sex too.

And the third.

They were drunk the fourth time too. But that time Helga didn't even tell Gerald to fuck off when they woke up the next morning. She didn't even hit him. She simply sighed, got out of bed, dressed, and left.

The fifth time, however, they were both stone cold sober. Everything happened in a bit of a blur. Gerald spotted her in the library and she happened to be studying for the same test he was. He asked if he could join her and she simply shrugged and said, "Whatever floats your boat."

After studying for a half an hour Gerald decided he was starving and asked Helga if she wanted to go up to his dorm room and study there. When she looked hesitant he offered to pay for a pizza for them to share. She then agreed, but suggested they go to her dorm room instead. She had somehow managed to get her own room without a roommate. Though Gerald thought that was probably for the best, he shuddered, thinking of the poor soul who could have been Helga G. Pataki's roommate.

After they polished off the entire pizza they went back to studying for their upcoming Biology test. Gerald didn't realize he was watching her as she studied, noticing the cute way she would mouth the words as she read silently, until Helga called him out on it. "Do you have staring problem or something?" She snapped as her eyes darted away from her biology book and gl. red at him instead.

"Eh…No." Gerald practically stammered. "You're really pretty." He suddenly blurted out.

"Huh?" Helga's glare shifted into confusion as she looked past Gerald to the mirror on the wall.

Gerald could tell she was trying to figure out why he just said that. Her hair was pulled into a messy pony tail and she was wearing black yoga pants with a red Hillwood Hogs sweatshirt. "You are always really pretty." He closed his biology book and sat on the bed next to her, "I don't know why I never really realized that before, but you are. You don't even need to try and you are prettier than most girls." He scratched the back of his neck, feeling himself begin the get flustered, "I guess what I'm trying to say is that you are really beautiful."

Helga bit her lip trying to hide a smile as her cheeks blushed into a light pink. "Thanks Geraldo. I guess you aren't so bad yourself."

Gerald said nothing; instead he took his hands and cupped her cheeks pulling her into a kiss. It took Helga a moment to actually kiss him back, but when she did Gerald pushed her gently onto the mattress and immediately climbed on top of her. Their clothes were discarded soon after.

Gerald collapsed next to her, sweating, breathing heavily, and beyond satisfied. "You're amazing." He whispered, kissing her collar bone.

"Well, duh." Helga sat up, covering herself with her sheet. "This was a mistake. You should probably go." She took out the pony tail holder that was now tying back half her hair and redid her pony tail. She sighed heavily, "I still love Arnold. And I know Phoebe still loves you. I can't believe I did this to her." She bit her lip; it looked like she was about to cry, "Please leave."

"I mean, I still love Phoebe…But she and Arnold aren't here." Gerald asked quietly, not moving from his spot. "What about the other times we did it?"

"That was different. We were drunk. They can _never_ know about this." She shook her head, "This can never happen again. Please just go."

Of course, it had happened again, and several more times after that. Each time Helga insisted it was the last time. Each time Gerald felt less and less guilty about the whole thing, eventually he felt no guilt at all. He knew he should. Not only was she his ex-girlfriend's best friend, but she was his best friend's ex-girlfriend. An ex-girlfriend that he knew his best friend still loved.

Gerald had quickly realized he really liked having sex with Helga G. Pataki. Like _really_ liked it. Being that he had only been with Phoebe and Helga he couldn't help but compare the two friends. He had been with Phoebe for a long time and he loved her so much, but sex with Helga was mind blowing. While Phoebe let him take the lead when having sex, Helga liked being in control. In Gerald's opinion that was so hot.

After a handful of times of having sex sober Gerald started to enjoy the time before and after sex. He actually really liked talking to Helga. There were some nights they didn't even have sex, instead, they just talked. She was funny and smart and really wasn't the any negative things once thought of her. Well, she was still some of those things, but they didn't bother him the way they used to.

It was in the early December when Gerald showed up at her dorm after all his classes for the day were finished. She was sitting on her bed against the wall, hugging her knees to her chest. "Hey, you okay?" He asked, as he kicked off his shoes and joined her on the bed. He frowned, "Seriously, what's wrong?"

"I'm pregnant."

Gerald felt as if all the oxygen left his body and his stomach drop to his feet. "Pregnant?" He repeated. She nodded. "Are you sure?" He nodded again. "And it's mine?"

"Of course it is asshole." She shot him the death glare as she threw a book at him. "What are we going to do?"

"We?" He asked dumbly.

"You contributed to this, so yeah, we."

"Do you know how far along you are or whatever?"

"I went to the campus doctor and with my last period was they figure like six weeks, give or take."

Gerald swallowed the dry lump in his throat. "I guess we tell people about us and we raise the baby together."

Helga buried her head into her hands, "Arnold and Phoebe will never forgive us for this." She started to cry. "Phoebe is my best friend…" She sniffed, "And Arnold…I always had hoped that we'd end up together. He'll never want me back now."

"I'm sorry." Gerald whispered. Not knowing what else to say he just took Helga into his arms, holding her tightly as she cried.

It had been two weeks since Helga found out she was pregnant; she and Gerald decided to wait at least another month before they told anyone. Though Gerald appeared to be supportive he was starting to freak out about this whole pregnancy thing. He was nineteen, a freshman in college. And he was going to be a dad. He wasn't ready for any of this.

It was the Saturday, and Gerald, his roommate, and a few other guys from his hall were playing basketball when he got the first call from Helga. He ignored it. He ignored the second call. After ignoring the third he put his phone on silent and continued to play basketball with his friends. He didn't know how to deal with Helga right then. He didn't know how he would going to act around his family in just a few days when he was home for Christmas. He just couldn't deal with it.

Two and a half hours he finally looked at his phone. His eyes nearly bulged out of his head when he saw it. Twelve missed calls. Five voicemails. One text message.

He read the text messages first.

_I had a miscarriage. I lost the baby._

Gerald ran the entire way to Helga's dorm room. When he got there she refused to talk to him. She wouldn't even unlock the door.

He didn't blame her.

He stayed outside her dorm for a solid two hours before giving up and going back to his room. It was there he listened to her voicemail

_1_

_Why are you answering your phone? I'm kind of freaking out here. I'm cramping up real bad. It hurts. Call me._

_2_

_I just went to the bathroom. There is blood. Answer your damn phone!_

_3_

_I called the doctor and he told me to go to the hospital. They think it could be a miscarriage. Why aren't you answering you phone?_

_4_

_I'm my way to hospital. Please meet me there._

_5_

_Gerald I'm at the hospital. (*sobs*) I'm having a miscarriage. I need you._

Gerald grabbed the wastebasket next to his bed and threw up. He hated himself at that moment. How could he let her deal with this alone? Why didn't he just answer his damn phone?

He had tears in his eyes as he typed the text message.

_I'm so sorry. Please talk to me. I'm so sorry._

She didn't reply back.

Four days later she still refused to talk to him, not that he blamed her. He had thought about staying in the dorms over Christmas, he knew Helga wasn't going him. Maybe he could get her to talk to him. Tell her in person just how sorry he was. But he knew he couldn't do that. His family would ask why he wasn't coming home for Christmas and Helga probably wouldn't talk to him anyway.

It was during a conversation with Jamie-O the after Christmas Gerald realized he was in love with Helga G. Pataki. Gerald had made up his mind. He was going to go back to school early and tell Helga how sorry he was. He was going to tell her he loved her.

He bought her flowers and her a dozen of the chocolate doughnuts with the pink frosting he knew she loved so much. He took a deep breath before knocking on the door, "Helga…Please open up."

To his surprise the door opened seconds later.

To his even bigger surprise it was a shirtless Arnold that answered.

"Arnold! What…What are you doing here?" With his eyes wide he looked past his friend to Helga, who was sitting on her bed in a shirt that obviously wasn't hers.

Arnold shrugged, "I missed Helga. I couldn't stand being away from her any longer." He smiled as he looked back at her, "I'm going to school here next semester." He looked back at Gerald, "Why did you bring her flowers?"

"I..I uh..I knew she was really missing you so I brought her flowers and doughnuts to try to cheer her up." Gerald quickly lied. "I hope you two are hungry." He handed Arnold the box of doughnuts along with the flowers. "I'll leave you two alone."

He ignored Arnold as he told him to stay.

After Arnold officially got back together Gerald began to screw any girl that was willing. Despite his best efforts he could not screw Helga G. Pataki out of his system.

Junior year Arnold told him that he was proposing. He had a ring, a proposal plan, and everything. Arnold asked him to be his best man before he even popped the question, despite the fact it physically pained him and despite the fact he was still in love bride, he said yes.

*  
Gerald danced with Helga on her and Arnold's wedding day. They barley spoke as they swayed. "You look really beautiful." He smiled softly. "As always."

He and Phoebe tried dating again. They lasted about three months before Phoebe called it off. She knew Gerald's heart wasn't in it. She knew he was in love with someone else, though she didn't know who. "You should tell her how you feel." She told him.

"I can't. She's with someone else."

She smiled at him softly, "Maybe she feels the same way about you."

He shook his head, "No, she doesn't. Besides…The guy she's with. He is a really good guy. She's happy with him and I want her to be happy. Even if it isn't because of me."

"That's very mature of you Gerald." She kissed him on the cheek, "I hope you find the same happiness someday."

There were some days Gerald was so tempted, came so close to telling Arnold everything. About the sex, the baby, the miscarriage, the fact he was in love with his wife. But he always stopped himself. Nothing good would ever come from it. Phoebe and Arnold would probably hate Helga and himself. And more importantly Helga would hate him.

Arnold had invite Gerald over for dinner and a movie about a year into his and Helga's marriage. "You seem to be in a good mood." Gerald observed. It was fairly obvious. His best friend was practically grinning from ear to ear.

Arnold looked over at Helga, who was sitting on the couch working on her laptop. "Do you want to tell him or should I?"

She smiled softly, "You can."

"Helga's pregnant!" He gushed, "We are having a baby!"

Gerald blinked, looking at Arnold, then to Helga, then back to Arnold again. "Wow! That's great." He feigned excitement. "Congratulations."

"We finally hit the three month mark yesterday. Helga wanted us to wait until after her first trimester was over before we told anyone."

Gerald nodded, looking over at Helga, "I'm really happy for you guys."

Arnold's phone rang, "Shoot. I need to get this." He said when he saw the caller ID. "Hello?" He answered the phone as he walked out of the living room and this his and Helga's bedroom for some privacy.

"So…" Gerald sat down on the couch next to Helga. "You're pregnant?"

Helga nodded, "I am." She shut her laptop after placing it on the coffee table, "I'm really scared I'm going to lose this one too." She admitted in a low whisper.

Gerald's breath hitched. It had been over five years, but this was the first time they had ever talked about the miscarriage. "I'm…" He paused. "I'm sure everything will be fine. I hear the risk of miscarriage is highest in the first three months and you're passed that now."

"I hope you're right." She whispered again, brushing some stray hair behind her left ear.

"I wish I could tell you how sorry I was…"

She shook her head, "Don't. It was a long time ago."

"Do you ever think about what things would have been like if we had never lost the baby?" She said nothing so Gerald continued, "I do." He whispered, "I think it would have been a girl. I think…I hope she would have had your fire." He told her. She still said nothing, "Do you ever think about what it would be like?"

Helga bit her lip lightly before answering, "I think things ended up the way they were supposed to."

Gerald nodded, understanding. She probably wouldn't be with Arnold and the baby she was pregnant with now never would have existed. He wondered if she would have resented their baby if they hadn't lost it.

As if reading his mind Helga spoke up, "Arnold knows I had the miscarriage. He doesn't know who the father was, but he knows about the miscarriage. I cried when I found out I was pregnant and he thought I wasn't ready for a baby and I just ended up telling him everything. I told him I was terrified that I'd lose this one too."

Gerald didn't hide his shock when she told him that. Obviously, he had been supportive after she told him. Sometimes Gerald hated the fact Arnold was such a good guy."I'm sorry I wasn't there for you."

Helga wiped the tears from her eyes, "I know." She whispered.

He wanted to ask her if she thought if they could have ended up together is she never lost the baby or if Arnold didn't back when he did, but Gerald knew the answer. He was never meant to be Helga's happy ending. Arnold was, is, and would always be Helga's happy ending.

Yes, there were still some days he wanted to tell Arnold everything, there always would be, but he kept quiet. Helga was happy.

And if only one of them could be happy at least it was her.

*  
As always, if you enjoyed please review.


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